Ode To My Mom

Who would've ever thought...
Certainly not me at age 15, just realizing I was at least half gay and being terrified that my mother would find out. Knowing full well her thoughts on the matter, her having been raised with the Catholic belief that being gay was a horrible sin and that it was so wrong that she didn't want her children to even watch a television show with gay characters. Her attitude shocked me and made me feel like she would reject my real self, and so I hid huge parts of my life from her for 12 years. She was who I was most afraid to come out to. I couldn't even do it in person I was so afraid.

Who would've ever thought that 15 years later, my mother would be posting one of those goofy pre-written Facebook statuses (kind of like the modern equivalent of a chain letter!), updating her status with the same message as so many of my friends are doing today. --A message that starts out "‎1 of every 10 people born is gay" and goes on to decry the attitude toward gay people in this country, how it's causing a rash of suicides among gay teenagers. A poorly written, badly punctuated little paragraph that aims to spread the message to teens and closeted gays everywhere that life "will get better."

My mom posted this as her Facebook status 4 minutes ago.

I can't explain what that means to me, or even why it does mean so much to me. It's Facebook. Really, it's just silly. My mom has been so supportive of me and my girlfriend in the past 3 years since I came out to her, it's just been incredible. I've been so lucky.

Maybe it's because it's so public that I'm so touched?? A lot of her extended family is connected to her on Facebook, old friends, co-workers. It's a public acknowledgment to anyone who may read it, that her feelings have completely changed. She loves her gay daughter and no longer sees this trait, this "lifestyle," as a terrible sin. She knows I'm living my true life and it's helped to change her attitude. We gays are just regular people now.

She had a period of adjustment, for sure, and of course that's to be expected-- it was a shock to her because I'd tried very hard all those years to keep the truth from her. But now, it's just no thing. My girl and I are as valid a couple and as accepted in her home and at family events as my sister and her fiance. Actually, gf and I have been together longer, even. Every phone-call with Mom ends with a "Say hi to Kristy for me" and an "I love you."

I love you, too, Mom!!

A Basket of Safe Things To Welcome Baby

One of my dear friends will be having a baby in a month or so. Her shower was a few days ago, and I was so excited to give her the present I put together for her! Now, really, this is so nerdy, you're going to think I must have all the time in the world. Well, that's not true. I just thought about it well in advance, so I had the time to do researching (and also to spread out the cost)!

My friend is a lot like me, and I thought, "What would I want for my baby shower?" I quickly realized that articles I've read about toxic ingredients in food, BPA in baby bottles, pesticides being found in breast milk, etc.-- all that stuff had stayed filed away in my brain. I realized I would want the gifts my friend's give me to enable me to take good care of my baby, and to do that in as safe a way as possible. I just feel like babies and kids nowadays are exposed to a lot more dangerous chemicals than I was as a child, and a lot more early!

What tripped the whole machine in motion, was seeing a gorgeous, wooden baby rattle on etsy.com. Handmade, dyed with fruit juices, and treated with beeswax and flax seed oil. Incredible. I would feel safe letting my teething baby chomp on this!

And so, off I went, to research products for this big gift project. My main reference site was Skin Deep's Cosmetics Database, which rates commercial products on a scale of 0 to 9, with 9 being the worst for you, by looking at whether or not it contains harmful ingredients (i.e. ingredients which are known to be cancer-causing, or cause neurological and/or reproductive damage), and if so, in what concentration. My goal was to put together a basket of baby products that all scored 0 or 1, to give the mamma-to-be another option besides the normal Baby Magic that we all grew up with (which, btw, scores a 6 in the database!)

Some of the products with the best scores were harder to find. I was glad I had the time to deal with orders that were canceled due to no stock. I also had time to shop around for price. And, even though these particular products were obviously not rated by Skin Deep, I was able to find homemade products on etsy which contained the same ingredients as some of the best-scoring items on Skin Deep.

Here is the result:
Here is what the basket contained:

Aveeno Baby Soothing Bath Treatments (available at Target and lots of places)
Dr. Bronner's Castile Liquid Soap - Baby Mild
Poofy Organics Baby Poof Baby Lotion score: 0 And it actually has an expiration date! (UPDATE: Now that the baby is here, mama swears by this lotion to soothe her brand-new baby's peely skin.)
All Natural Creations Baby Bottom Salve score: 0 And cheap! I ordered two. ;)
Baby Powder from Rainwater Botanicals Talcum powder is really bad for baby's developing lungs!
Kiddopotamous Organic Cotton Swaddler (from Target)
Organic Cotton Crib Sheets (from Amazon)
Organic Cotton Receiving Blanket from Lovely Lou Organics
Pacifier Clips (3) from Bare Bebe (Gorgeous! And packaged so prettily!)
Book: "Organic Baby: Simple Steps For Healthy Living" (I found it, randomly, at Tuesday Morning! Bought one for myself, too.)

For the house:
Dr. Bronner's Sal Suds Liquid Soap
Seventh Generation All-Purpose Cleaner, Free & Clear
All Free detergent (there was a definite consensus among the natural mommy blogs that this detergent was by far the best!)

For Mama:
Earth Mama Angel Baby Bottom Balm (I thought I was buying the kind for baby! Oops! Oh, well.)
Pregnancy Tea and Sitz Bath from Flying Bird Botanicals (UPDATE: The mama was amazed at the pregnancy tea. It had ALL of the herbs that her doula had recommended to her to help with the pregnancy.) (UPDATE: Now that the baby is here, mama told me that the sitz bath was just the thing to soothe her new baby and her own body, in the bath together.)

And the wood rattle, of course. :)