A Basket of Safe Things To Welcome Baby

One of my dear friends will be having a baby in a month or so. Her shower was a few days ago, and I was so excited to give her the present I put together for her! Now, really, this is so nerdy, you're going to think I must have all the time in the world. Well, that's not true. I just thought about it well in advance, so I had the time to do researching (and also to spread out the cost)!

My friend is a lot like me, and I thought, "What would I want for my baby shower?" I quickly realized that articles I've read about toxic ingredients in food, BPA in baby bottles, pesticides being found in breast milk, etc.-- all that stuff had stayed filed away in my brain. I realized I would want the gifts my friend's give me to enable me to take good care of my baby, and to do that in as safe a way as possible. I just feel like babies and kids nowadays are exposed to a lot more dangerous chemicals than I was as a child, and a lot more early!

What tripped the whole machine in motion, was seeing a gorgeous, wooden baby rattle on etsy.com. Handmade, dyed with fruit juices, and treated with beeswax and flax seed oil. Incredible. I would feel safe letting my teething baby chomp on this!

And so, off I went, to research products for this big gift project. My main reference site was Skin Deep's Cosmetics Database, which rates commercial products on a scale of 0 to 9, with 9 being the worst for you, by looking at whether or not it contains harmful ingredients (i.e. ingredients which are known to be cancer-causing, or cause neurological and/or reproductive damage), and if so, in what concentration. My goal was to put together a basket of baby products that all scored 0 or 1, to give the mamma-to-be another option besides the normal Baby Magic that we all grew up with (which, btw, scores a 6 in the database!)

Some of the products with the best scores were harder to find. I was glad I had the time to deal with orders that were canceled due to no stock. I also had time to shop around for price. And, even though these particular products were obviously not rated by Skin Deep, I was able to find homemade products on etsy which contained the same ingredients as some of the best-scoring items on Skin Deep.

Here is the result:
Here is what the basket contained:

Aveeno Baby Soothing Bath Treatments (available at Target and lots of places)
Dr. Bronner's Castile Liquid Soap - Baby Mild
Poofy Organics Baby Poof Baby Lotion score: 0 And it actually has an expiration date! (UPDATE: Now that the baby is here, mama swears by this lotion to soothe her brand-new baby's peely skin.)
All Natural Creations Baby Bottom Salve score: 0 And cheap! I ordered two. ;)
Baby Powder from Rainwater Botanicals Talcum powder is really bad for baby's developing lungs!
Kiddopotamous Organic Cotton Swaddler (from Target)
Organic Cotton Crib Sheets (from Amazon)
Organic Cotton Receiving Blanket from Lovely Lou Organics
Pacifier Clips (3) from Bare Bebe (Gorgeous! And packaged so prettily!)
Book: "Organic Baby: Simple Steps For Healthy Living" (I found it, randomly, at Tuesday Morning! Bought one for myself, too.)

For the house:
Dr. Bronner's Sal Suds Liquid Soap
Seventh Generation All-Purpose Cleaner, Free & Clear
All Free detergent (there was a definite consensus among the natural mommy blogs that this detergent was by far the best!)

For Mama:
Earth Mama Angel Baby Bottom Balm (I thought I was buying the kind for baby! Oops! Oh, well.)
Pregnancy Tea and Sitz Bath from Flying Bird Botanicals (UPDATE: The mama was amazed at the pregnancy tea. It had ALL of the herbs that her doula had recommended to her to help with the pregnancy.) (UPDATE: Now that the baby is here, mama told me that the sitz bath was just the thing to soothe her new baby and her own body, in the bath together.)

And the wood rattle, of course. :)

What Makes a Family

"What Makes a Family" is available to watch streaming on Netflix! Yay!
This 2001 Lifetime movie stars Brooke Shields and Cherry Jones as lesbian partners who eventually have a child together. But when the biological mother of the child becomes ill and dies, her grandparents take the child away from her remaining mother. That woman appeals the court decision, challenging Florida state law, in order to become the guardian of their child, as she and her partner intended.

The movie is "based on a true story," but while I couldn't find any specific story that would have been cited by the movie, I imagine there are thousands of similar stories across the U.S. and world-wide.

I watched the movie tonight, and of course it has gotten me thinking about the legal discrepancies for GLBT parents in the U.S. My partner and I are beginning to plan for a future that would include children - biological and adopted, hopefully. It's stunning, and frightening, to think that even if she and I were to write wills, draw up every legal document possible to provide for the future of our children, that those documents just might not matter-- at least not in every state. It varies so greatly! I know the woman in the movie didn't even have a will at all, but it still makes me question the validity and strength of our future wills and legal plans.

Same-sex marriage is a huge debate right now in the U.S., and I just can't even fathom why some people are so threatened by it. Providing structure and security for family units, no matter how many moms or dads are in that unit-- why is that so scary? And how the fuck is that your business anyway? When I have children, you had better believe I'm going to do everything in my power to ensure the stability and security of their future with their intended parents. Ahhh, and now I'm ranting on my soap-box. ;)

Anyway, the movie is just lovely. Watch it if you haven't seen it yet. Beautifully acted by Brooke Shields, Cherry Jones, Whoopi Goldberg, and a few other people you will recognize. Be sure to have a tissue nearby-- seeing Brooke lose her partner and then her daughter will break your heart!

Cougar Town Lesbian Dream

Wow, this made me laugh just now! I was catching up on the latest episode of "Cougar Town" online tonite... It's a cute show, there are usually a few moments that make me laugh, and it's just silly entertainment.

I can remember having similar conversations with friends, back when I still had boyfriends. ;)



I just love Ellie's reaction at the end! She SO wanted to see what was going to happen!!

Jamie Babbit's Short Films

This morning I watched an interview with director Jamie Babbit on Afterellen.com. Not sure if you've heard of her? I bet you have! She's the director of "But I'm A Cheerleader," "Itty Bitty Titty Committee," and episodes of "Gilmore Girls," "Nip/Tuck," "The L Word," and a dozen other TV series. She even directed a few episodes of "Swingtown," one of my favorites!

Last year, my gf and I discovered "Popular," a series that Jamie directed about 10 years ago. I remember when it was on and really wanting to watch it, but I was in the middle of college dorm life and watching TV wasn't much of a priority, or even a viable option in that concrete tower.

"Popular" is a totally fun and completely ridiculous show about high school, focusing on two girls from rival groups (the popular kids and the weirdos) who are basically at war with each other. The characters are unforgettable (ahem, Mary Cherry), the writing was alternately brilliant and cheesy. Sometimes it felt like a bad after-school special and sometimes it brought my gf and I to tears. Seriously. Among all the wackiness, it touched on issues of race, eating disorders, discrimination, and family relations. The show addressed gay and transgender issues in a respectful and serious tone. And the magnificent Alley Mills played a lesbian! What more could you ask for?! Oh, and Tammy Lynn Michaels, wife of Melissa Etheridge, was one of the main characters. Back then, I remember wanting to watch the show because she was in it... ;) Ryan Murphy was one of the two creators of the show, and he has gone on to be one of the creators of "GLEE."

A very great show, all in all. Rent it if you haven't seen it!

So anyway! In the interview I watched, Jamie mentioned a couple of her short films, "Sleeping Beauties" and "Stuck." It was easy to find them online, amazingly!
"Sleeping Beauties" is something she did shortly before "But I'm A Cheerleader," and you can sure tell that she's trying out the same visual style in this short! Lots of vivid and symbolic colors, sort of a dreamy feel to some parts. And LOTS of famous faces that you'll recognize! Clea DuVall, Leisha Hailey, Radha Mitchell, Rose McGowan, Nicole Eggert... Very cute!

I can't embed the first part of the video, but here is the 2nd part and you can easily find the 1st from there.



"Stuck," she said, was based in part on her great-aunt, who had a difficult relationship with a long-time partner. She didn't say whether or not they broke up in their 80's, as is the case with the characters in this film.




Okay, now for something lighter! Let's end with a little Bobbi Glass, Cherry Cherry, and the incomparable Mary Cherry.

"Making Do" Sometimes Leads to Creative Moments

Making the switch between jobs seems to always put you in money-limbo for a while... During the time you're training on the new job, you're probably not making the full wages you will be making eventually. And meanwhile, you're also not working at your old job much or even at all, so that paycheck is also not going to provide enough.

That's the situation I'm in currently. Got my first paycheck from my new job, but it's smaller than the future ones will be and not enough to cover much more than the essential bills.

Combined with the fact that I'm moving from working most of my days in a serving uniform, to a job where I need to be dressed in business-casual attire everyday, means I'm quickly running through all of my clothes and accessories and would really like to shop!! I'm finding myself wearing old clothes left over from old jobs just because I need something to wear, but I'd really prefer to wear things that actually suit my taste now!

Looking at catalogs during this time has been a kind of torture, but while drooling and folding corners of pages, I actually found some inspiration for things that I could make out of clothes and even jewelry that I have already. One project is an embellished shirt that I plan to make out of a shirt whose bell-shape and puffy sleeves are no longer appealing to me. But that's a bigger project.

The other night, I took on something smaller. A necklace pieced together from some broken vintage pieces.
I have a box full of broken vintage jewelry, which I got while at an auction a couple years ago. Lots of chains, rhinestone pins, clip-on earring, pieces of bracelets... This necklace is made up of 2 pieces of some unidentifiable jewelry item. I used individual gold chain links to connect the 2 pieces together. I replaced a few missing rhinestones and then attached a chain and clasp.

It turned out cute, if I do say so myself! I wore it to work the next day and a customer complimented me on it. Not a huge step to a fantastic work wardrobe, but at least I have something cute to wear with all these bland old sweaters!

Hannah Free

On Wednesday, my gf and I attended the Minneapolis opening of a new film, "Hannah Free."

AfterEllen had posted an interview last week with Sharon Gless, of "Cagney & Lacey" fame. Sharon was very complementary and appreciative of her lesbian fans and expressed that it was an honor to play this role. After reading the interview, I did a search for the movie and found that it was playing in Minneapolis on Nov. 4th, the only viewing here so far. I made plans right away to attend. :)
http://www.afterellen.com/blog/thelinster/sharon-gless-loves-being-free

"Hannah Free" is an independent film, financed by individuals and the film-makers themselves, as well as many people who put in their time and effort free of charge.

It is the story of 2 women, Hannah and Rachel, who grew up together, and from the time they were children they shared a closeness and attraction that led to a secret life-- which eventually came out into the open. Hannah is the "out" character, she is open about her love for Rachel, but is also an adventurous woman who spends long periods travelling the world and living on her own. Rachel stays in their hometown in Michigan, has children and becomes a young widow.

The past is told through flashbacks, while in the present both Hannah and Rachel are in a local nursing home. Hannah is there because she can't physically get around enough to take care of herself, and Rachel because she has suffered a stroke and is on life-support. The heartbreaking part is that although they have been in the same facility for many months, Hannah has not been allowed to see Rachel because she is not "family." This film illustrates how same-sex couples are unequal under the current laws in the U.S., and also touches on treatment of the elderly -- who may not be able-bodied, but are still very able-minded!

It is a beautiful film. Well-written, strong acting, funny, poignant, up-lifting, and always touching. You would never have any idea it was a "small-budget" film. It was the perfect boost to my mood that evening, when I had spent much of my day reading about Maine's voting results, feeling hurt and angry.

Being that this is an independently-made film, the filmmakers are still working very hard to get exposure for the film and to make enough money to pay back all their investors. Lesbian films generally don't make a lot of money, which is why so few are made. If they were money-makers, they would be made all the time! And certainly the quality of the film and the actors they would attract would improve, too! Please support "Hannah Free" in any way you can.

Become a fan on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/pages/Hannah-Free/76436188517?ref=ts

"Save" the movie in your Netflix queue! The more people that do this will let Netflix know that this is a film their customers are interested in renting-- and that will encourage them to buy more copies of the DVD.

And also, please BUY the DVD! Filmmakers make squat from the box-office and television showings. Most money is made through sales of DVDs-- to rental businesses and to individual customers. In order to keep getting beautiful movies like this made, it's really important to pay back those investors and encourage them to invest in lesbian films in the future!!

That Hotel Was A Goner

Thinking today about the hotel I worked at during the summer after I graduated high school, a resort place in Sister Bay, WI. My family had vacationed up there so much when I was younger, I was just about sick of it. But by the end of high school, the place seemed like freedom. A friend my age had worked there for a summer and I'd gotten to visit her. I couldn't believe the parties, the new people, the drinking and drugs, the beaches and music. My 18-year-old mind didn't notice the slummy living conditions or the low wages. ;)

My parents shocked me by helping me get set up for the summer of 1998 at a lovely place they had gone to on vacations a few times. It was made up of 6 buildings of various sizes, containing different styles of rooms. I lived in one of them along with 5 other girls, while we had jobs as housekeepers, waiters, and at the front desk. My high school crush also became my roommate there, after I told her all about the opportunity to be away from parents and home for a summer. At the end of 3+ months, we had had enough experiences, conversations, adventures, and romances to provide material for a slew of comedic movies, rom coms, indie films, and at least one soap opera. The photo albums contain many incriminating photos-- some didn't even make it into the albums.

Well, the point is that the place is now gone. A few years back, they razed "our" resort to make rooms for townhouses. Starting with the building we lived in, the one with the smallest rooms for rent. Then moving on to the 3 buildings of cabins, the waterfront building, the main building which contained the restaurant, the crumbling old boat house, the cobalt-tiled swimming pool, and much more of the woods behind.

When I drive up there now, I can hardly tell where it used to be. Just a long stretch of tall townhouses, each just like the one next to it.

Today I listened to "Falling Down," my favorite song from Scarlett Johansson's album Anywhere I Lay My Head. There's a section in the song that is the reason I'm thinking of this today:

"Go on down and see that wrecking ball
Come swinging on along
Everyone knew that hotel was a goner
They broke all the windows
They took all the door knobs
And they hauled it away in a couple of days"

Breaks my heart a bit, thinking of that place, our home for a bit, being destroyed and carted off to landfills. I know this kind of thing happens all the time, but it doesn't mean I have to like it. ;)
The most important things that came out of that time are the friends I made there who will be my friends forever, because of the things we shared that summer.